


"you and me are the lucky ones this time"

by onedirectioninthetardis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bottom Louis, Emotional, Football Player Louis, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up, Happy Ending, Homophobic Language, M/M, i might have cried, very slight though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 20:35:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3222581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onedirectioninthetardis/pseuds/onedirectioninthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>harry and louis are best friends from a young age, and when louis lets his fear of a ruined reputation tear him and harry apart, harry is left in embarrassment and despair. when harry's family moves to london, neither boy thinks they will see one another again. when louis <b>does</b> see harry again, he's not sure things will ever be like they were before.</p>
<p>      <i>things are better than they were before.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	"you and me are the lucky ones this time"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheIfInLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIfInLife/gifts).



> for the H/L valentine fic exchange <3 i'll update notes later when it isn't anonymous. hehe enjoy!  
>  **Title from Lana Del Rey’s “Lucky Ones” ******

**Louis: 14**

**Harry: 12**

 

“No, that’s- It’s better, but you’re still not doing it right,” Louis chuckled as Harry tried once again to kick a football into the goal.

 

“I’m trying,” Harry huffed, growing more and more irritated by the moment, “I’m just not meant for footie.”

 

“Hey,” Louis punched his arm playfully, “My best friend isn’t a quitter.”

 

Harry blushed and crossed his arms awkwardly over his chest, balancing his foot on the ball, “I’m your best friend?”

 

Louis kicked the ball from under Harry’s foot and laughed as the boy toppled over, “Not if you’re going to quit, you aren’t.”

 

Louis kicked the ball into the goal with ease before falling onto the grass next to Harry, who hadn’t even made an attempt to stand back up yet.

 

“You mean it, though?” Harry gulped, catching his breath a bit.

 

“That you’re my best mate?” Louis asked, confused by the severity of Harry’s tone, “‘Course you are. Why don’t you believe me?”

 

Harry turned to face Louis while resting on his elbow, “Don’t know. Just figured you liked your teammates more.”

 

Louis ruffled the younger boy’s hair and sat up straight, “Never. You and me together forever, Haz. Now I’ll race you home. With those long legs, you’re sure to be better for that than me.”

 

Harry blushed again, wondering if Louis thought about his legs a lot. He stood up quickly, giving Louis no time to prepare before he was sprinting toward their street.

 

“Dammit, Harry!” Louis shouted after him while retrieving his football, “You’re such a cheater!”

 

________

  


**Louis: 15**

**Harry: 13**

 

“You’re kidding, right?” Harry searched Louis’ expression for any hint of an answer at all, but he didn’t receive one.

 

“Louis,” Harry questioned in disbelief, shaking his friend’s shoulders frantically, “You can’t just run away.”

 

“I can,” Louis sniffled, averting his gaze from Harry’s teary eyes, “I have to. No one appreciates me-“

 

“I do,” Harry interrupted him firmly, refusing to give in and let his only friend go.

 

“You know what I mean, Haz,” Louis retorted, his voice uncertain, “At home. My mum is too busy with the girls. I’m just one more mouth to feed. I- I can’t stay here, darling.”

 

Harry hated to admit to himself that his heart fluttered a bit at the pet name, but it was impossible to ignore the shivers crawling across his skin.

 

“Stay for me,” Harry pleaded, his voice cracking. “Please.”

 

“Harry,” Louis whispers, “It’s not just my family. The team, they- they tease me, and Coach doesn’t think I’m good enough to put out there half the time. I’ve got no reason to stay.”

 

“Tease you?” Harry was astounded. What on earth was there to tease Louis about? Louis was the only person he looked up to.

 

“Yeah,” Louis glanced down to his feet, shrugging Harry’s hands off of his shoulders. “Don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Lou,” Harry sat down at the edge of his bed, patting the spot next to him. Louis complied after a few seconds, deciding that it wouldn’t hurt to hear Harry out. His mind was made up anyway.

 

“Louis,” Harry continued, “Please tell me why they tease you. I’m sure it’s something entirely silly, and I can help clear it up for you.”

 

Louis scoffed and wiped the back of his hand across his nose, “They think I’m too girly.”

 

Harry frowned and put an arm around Louis’ waist, “You’re not a girl.”

 

“No,” Louis chuckled softly, “I’m not a girl, but they call me one. They say I talk like a girl and run like a girl. It’s embarrassing.”

 

Harry pouted and tried to think of the perfect thing to say. He wondered how he had never noticed these insecurities in Louis before.

 

“Is there any way I could change your mind?” Harry asked as a last resort, unsure of how else to keep his best friend around.

 

“Well, I guess-“ Louis started, but quickly shook his head in contradiction, “No, there’s no use.”

 

Harry stared at Louis, bewildered, “What can I do?”

 

“Promise you’ll never leave me,” Louis choked out, weak and feeling alone, despite the undying company by his side.

 

“Of course,” Harry hugged him close, kissing the side of his head without a second thought.

 

Louis leaned into it, whether he would admit it or not, and then abruptly stood in Harry’s dark room.

 

“Okay,” he breathed out suddenly. “I’ll stay if you want. As long as I can stay over here tonight. I said some nasty things to my mum, and I can’t face her just yet.”

 

Harry grinned, his smile shining brightly in such troubled times, “Of course. I can, like... sleep on the couch if you want my bed.”

 

Louis chuckled and plopped back down next to the other boy, “Don’t be silly. This thing is big enough for the both of us.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry sighed nervously, shifting his spot to make room for his new bedmate. “I think we’ll fit.”

 

Once they were both settled under the sheets, Harry’s unsure hands shifted around, attempting to find a comfortable spot. It wasn’t until Louis turned around in his spot, facing a blushing boy, that Harry rested his arm on Louis’ waist.

 

“Thank you for letting me stay here,” Louis whispered, unsure and unconcerned with whether Harry heard him. He said it for his own comfort, assuring himself that he was cared for.

 

“You’re always welcome in my bed,” Harry smirked with a shy smile.

 

Louis pecked his forehead and ignored the possible connotations, “I’ll remember that, H. Good night.”

 

Harry waited a few moments, watching carefully in the moonlight as Louis settled into his best pillow before he spoke, softly enough that his words could easily be misconstrued, “Night, Lou. Love you.”

 

Louis attempted to hide the proud smile peeking through as he pretended to sleep. But, he promised that one day he’d show Harry how much he loved him.

 

________

 

**Louis: 17**

**Harry: 15**

  


Harry had gotten used to seeing Louis less than he did before. Harry was a freshman, and Louis was more than busy with football. Despite what Louis might have thought, Harry was at every game, cheering on his favorite player from the stands. Louis was typically aware of Harry’s presence, but it wasn’t often that he acknowledged it. Harry was okay with that as long as Louis was happy.

 

It was halfway through the season when Louis got injured. Harry was in the second row of the stands, Niall at his side, when Louis fell to the ground clutching his shin. It was all too quick for anyone to truly grasp, but he was surely kicked quite hard.

 

The moment he hit the ground, Harry was on the field, rushing to his side. The only other person near them was a referee.

 

“Louis,” Harry gasped, his eyes wide. “Are you alright?”

 

Louis hissed in pain, eyes having been squeezed shut. He only opened them when he heard that familiar voice, “Harry. Thank god you’re here.”

 

Harry felt tears pool in his eyes as if he could feel the pain himself, “How do you feel?”

 

“It hurts so bad,” Louis attempted to breathe between words, gasping for air instead, “I don’t think I can get up.”

 

Harry shook his head and looked around for some help. He shot daggers at the referee, “That was a foul. You’re not going to do anything about it?”

 

The referee shrugged as the coach approached the huddled boys.

 

“C’mon, get off the pitch,” the old man barked, sending a shred of hatred through Harry’s spine.

 

Harry rolled his eyes and turned back to Louis, whose color had drained completely, “Here Lou, put your arm around me, and I’ll help you.”

 

Louis nodded and wrapped an arm around Harry’s shoulders. The younger boy stood slowly, holding Louis up with his arms around his waist. He walked patiently as the shorter lad hobbled to the benches, searing pain shooting through his entire leg.

 

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” Harry said decidedly.

 

Louis swallowed and shook his head frantically, “No! It’s just a sprain. Take me home and I’ll ice it. I’ll be okay.”

 

Harry pulled Louis into his chest when they officially reached the sidelines, “Louis, I’d rather know that you’re alright-“

 

“I want to go home,” Louis protested, burying his face in Harry’s shoulder. “Your home.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry breathed. “I don’t have work until later tomorrow. I’ll look after you.”

 

“Thanks,” Louis grinned, sniffing and trying to conceal the burning in his nostrils. “By the way, I’m proud of you for knowing that was a foul.”

 

Both boys chuckled and started to make their way to the exit.

 

As if on cue, Niall rushed to their sides, patting Harry on the shoulder, “Are you ready to leave?”

 

Harry nodded, “If you don’t mind, we could use a ride home.”

 

Niall grinned and pulled out his keys, “I was only here for you, mate. Let’s go. I’ll pick you both up at the gate.”

 

Louis cocked his head toward Niall, who was unaware and already walking to the car. He glanced at Harry, who shrugged in disinterest, even though he could never be indifferent to anything when Louis was around. He helped the injured boy to the front gate and continued to hold him up the entire time they waited for Niall.

 

“You didn’t have to leave the game for me,” Louis muttered. “So, thanks.”

 

Harry blushed fiercely and tugged at his shirt hem, “Was only there for you anyway.”

 

Louis grinned to himself, glancing down to hide his enthrallment with that admittance.

 

“So you were here for me, and Niall was here for you,” Louis smiled confidently then, brushing his thumb lightly along Harry’s spine. “I’m just one special lad.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry smirked. “You really are.”

 

Their calm, endearing moment was interrupted suddenly by a jolt of cold water being sprayed at them from a passing car.

 

“Fags!” The fleeting voice called out in laughter as the unknown culprit pulled their water gun back through the window.

 

Harry watched Louis carefully as the older boy’s face fell, the insecurities Harry knew were hidden deep within beginning to burst back through.

 

Before either of them could say anything, Niall was beeping his horn lightly and ushering them to climb inside.

 

Louis kept his distance from Harry the whole car ride and refused any help out of the backseat when they arrived home.

 

...

  


Once Harry got Louis situated in his bed, leg propped up on a pillow and a bag of ice over his shin, Louis was beginning to act his normal self again. Well, the self he was around Harry, which if you had asked Louis, he’d admit was his real self.

 

“Can I have a cuppa?” Louis bared his teeth and pouted for good measure, which he knew Harry wasn’t going to resist.

 

Harry was back a few minutes later with Louis’ tea, just as he liked it, along with a muffin he brought home from work. Harry sat on the edge of his bed, careful not to invade any personal space. Louis’ brows furrowed at the distance, though, and he enthusiastically urged Harry to join him under the covers with a shrug, “It’s your bed, mate.”

 

Harry tried not to be too obviously giddy at the invitation, turning the telly on before slipping between the sheets.

 

“How does it feel?” Harry rolled over to face his friend, who was blowing lightly on his mug of tea, pretending to pay attention to the shitty sitcom that neither boy could name.

 

“Hurts still,” Louis admitted, taking a sip. “But, the tea is good, and so is the company, so I’ll be alright.”

 

Harry chuckled and nodded proudly, “I’m glad.”

 

Louis glanced down at Harry from his spot propped up by pillows and smiled fondly. It’s something he couldn’t help, really.

 

“Thanks Harry,” Louis whispered, hoping that the immense depth he meant carried through his tone. He was starting to see how important Harry was to him.

 

He would never admit it, but he’d begun to lose his passion for football. It just wasn’t fun anymore, especially when the team started calling him names and sending their mates to squirt him with water guns.

 

He’d never tell anyone, though. He let football define him because it was something he could be proud of. It was the only talent he possessed that was worth talking about. He loved to sing, but his voice was soft and high-pitched, definitely nothing to combat the names he was called.

 

“Lou,” Harry cooed when he noticed the solemn, contemplative expression on Louis’ face. “Were you upset by what that guy said?”

 

Louis cleared his throat and took another sip of tea, pretending to pay minimal attention, “What guy?”

 

Harry reached over and rested his hand on Louis’ forearm, “You know which guy.” Louis huffed, causing Harry to sit up, ”Talk to me, please. I’d never make fun of you.”

 

Louis shrugged off his hand and shook his head, “I don’t care what he said. I’m not gay.”

 

Harry took a deep breath and braved resting his hand on Louis’ arm again. This time he wasn’t pushed away, but Louis’ eyes flitted between their contact and Harry’s eyes. Harry thought carefully, deciding to convince Louis to open up before doing anything he might regret.

 

“Even if you were, though,” Harry began and paused when Louis shot him a deathly glare. He didn’t move, though, so Harry continued, “Hypothetically, of course, if you were gay- I just don’t get why they should care.”

 

Louis swallowed thickly and shifted slightly in his spot, “I don’t know. They’d probably not want me showering around them and all that. They have the right to think whatever they want.”

 

Harry chuckled scornfully, “No, they don’t. They’re uneducated and vile if they think someone else’s sexuality affects them at all.”

 

Louis just shrugged once again, having nothing to add to the conversation.

 

Harry bit at the inside of his cheek, debating on whether he should speak or keep silent.

 

“Would you care?” Harry released a sigh before adding, “If someone else was gay... Would you care?”

 

Louis didn’t dare face Harry dead-on, but he spoke in his direction so as to not be rude, “I don’t know. I guess it would depend.”

 

“What if,” Harry gasped for air, trying to hide his fear. “What if I were? Gay, that is.”

 

The room fell silent, except for the telly, which might as well have been off the entire time. It only served as a pretend distraction for Louis.

 

Louis finally felt that the stretch of silence was far too long and had become awkward, though his choice of icebreaker was far from comforting, “If you’re trying to tell me something, just say it.”

 

Harry shot up straight, taken aback by Louis’ tone. He didn’t know what he expected, maybe he didn’t have much in the way of expectations, but he definitely didn’t want that treatment.

 

“I suppose there’s no point in saying it when I know how you’ll react,” Harry sniffled, beginning to stand. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

 

Louis shook his head and set his teacup on the nightstand, the clanking sound echoing like a crash through Harry’s head, “Like I said, it’s your bed. I’ll go to mine; It’s only a house over anyway.”

 

Harry found it impossible to hold back his tears at that point, “Louis, please. Don’t go. Don’t hate me. I take it back. I lied- I-“

 

“Stop it,” Louis scolded, standing up as the bag of ice fell to the floor. He hobbled over to the bedroom door, hissing in pain, “You’re just making a fool of yourself.”

 

Harry hurried to his side and tried to steady him by holding his arm. Louis snatched it away, though, with a cold stare, “I’m fine. I don’t need your help.”

 

Harry gasped and raised his hands in the air as if he were held at gunpoint, “You can’t leave, Lou. You’re my best friend. And I’m yours, remember?”

 

Louis’ heart felt as though it were shattering, but he also knew what he had to do. It killed him that Harry already knew what his leaving that night really meant. He hated to see the boy like that. He just had no choice.

 

“Goodbye Harry,” Louis said as he left Harry helpless in his bedroom, passing through the house as quietly as he could to avoid any confrontation with Harry’s family. He’d done enough damage in the Styles’ residence that night.

 

When he got to his own cold, dark room, though, he cried himself to sleep, dreaming that night about the innocent friendship he’d never forget.

 

...

 

Louis didn’t talk to Harry after that night. Not at all. In fact, he didn’t look at him. Niall told him over and over that Louis would come around one day, and Harry waited and waited for almost a year to no avail. Louis avoided him like the plague until he just didn’t have to anymore.

 

“You can’t be serious, Harry,” Niall frowned when Harry first told him about his mum’s new promotion in London.

 

Harry was upset to leave Niall, but if he was completely honest, he was relieved to be leaving the area. Leaving the ignorant presence of Louis. He was everywhere. Not only were they next-door neighbors, but also Louis thrived in football after he stopped hanging out with Harry. He was practically the star of their school. Harry couldn’t get him out of his head, and the constant reminder of him at school only made it harder.

 

Really, Louis just released his stress and self-loathing through more football practice. By his senior year, he was the football captain. He grew a beard as soon as it was physically possible, and watched the way he walked and talked. The life he thought he could be proud of was only making him feel less and less like himself. He didn’t have a set plan or anything, and he didn’t know how much longer he could live a lie.

  


______

 

**Louis: 20**

**Harry: 18**

 

Louis couldn’t believe his eyes when he actually saw Harry. He had heard that he was back in town, but it wasn’t until he laid eyes on the slightly taller, still gangly lad that he really believed it. Even then, he was skeptical.

 

Harry’s hair was much longer, some of the curl that Louis once adored no longer there. He didn’t wear tee shirts and baggy pants anymore. No, he was wearing skin-tight jeans and a flowery button down shirt with short-heeled boots.

 

Louis would have been lying if he said his body didn’t feel warm and tingly at the sight.

 

“Alright then,” Zayn’s quiet voice somehow reached his ears, distracting him from the piece of art he was observing. “Who are you staring at?”

 

Louis swallowed and bit his bottom lip anxiously as he lied, “No one.”

 

Zayn chuckled and draped an arm around his best friend’s shoulders while taking a puff of his cigarette, “Yeah, okay. Who is he? Do you know him?”

 

Louis couldn’t help but to get another glimpse of Harry when he disappeared into the bakery he had once worked at. Louis took a drag of smoke and glanced back to his melting ice cream, and then over to Zayn, “Yeah, I did at one point.”

 

Zayn sat up in interest, “You miss him or something?”

 

Louis chuckled softly and brushed his fingers through his hair, “You could say that. I don’t deserve to, though.”

 

Zayn shoved his arm playfully, “Can’t control your feelings, mate. You should go talk to him.”

 

Louis rolled his eyes and tried to scoop up some of his ice cream which had turned to soup, “Hell no, Z. He doesn’t want to see me.”

 

Zayn just shrugged and returned to his cigarette and ice cream, pretending to forget about the topic.

 

...

 

“How is everyone today?” Liam asked, a typical broad smile on his face.

 

His question was returned by whispers and mutters of, “fine” or “good.”

 

Louis fumbled with his thumbs, nervous for his turn to share that day. He purposely sat on the opposite end of where Liam usually started the circle. He was never worried about talking in front of the group, in fact they had been his closest friends as of late, but he usually didn’t really have anything to share. He didn’t know if he was ready to rehash old emotions.

 

He didn’t know if he was ready to rehash Harry.

 

“Well, let’s start off with Louis. I’m going to guess he sat on this side today because he has something he doesn’t want to say.” Liam chuckled, “Sorry, Lou. Just get it off your chest.”

 

Louis took a deep breath and glared at Liam with narrowed eyes. Louis knew he heard a door creak, but he ignored the late-comer and just started talking, staring at his feet the whole time, “Alright, fine. You’re right, I just- Alright, so the first and only guy I’ve ever really loved hasn’t been around for a while. I know I’ve talked about him before. But, I saw him in town the other day, and if he’s back for good, I know I’ll see him around. I just- I could never apologize for my behavior. I know how badly I must have hurt him and I’ve never forgiven myself. I don’t even know if he ever had feelings for me, but I shut him out when he needed me most. When I needed him most. We could be- God, who knows what we could be now if I’d been less ignorant. I’m just not sure how I can start picking up the pieces so late in the game.”

 

When Louis looked back to Liam, the group leader had a solemn smile on his face, “Louis, I’ve told you this for a while now. You’ve got to forgive yourself if you expect anyone else to forgive you. You dealt with a lot of grief to be yourself and you deserve to be happy. Honestly, I’ve seen you mature a lot and you owe it to yourself to make amends. I’m sure you’ll be surprised by his understanding.”

 

Louis shrugged and sat back in his seat, glancing around the fairly small circle to find approving, encouraging grins from everyone. Louis appreciated the support, happy to have found such a wonderful group of people who understood what he had dealt with.

 

When he looked to his far right, near the door, his eyes met a pair of all-too-familiar green ones, sending a shiver through his body that reached the tips of his limbs.

 

“Hello,” Liam smiled kindly at the latest arrival. “You can have a seat wherever you’d like. I’m Liam, and you are?”

 

“I’m Harry,” the tall, surprisingly broad lad replied, his voice deep and husky. Louis almost expected the group to gasp and look at Louis after the amount he had spoken about the boy. Man, actually. He definitely looked like a man. Then he realized it would be impossible to connect that perfect guy to his anonymous crush.

 

“Welcome, Harry. We’re happy to have you,” Liam pointed at a few of the empty chairs. Harry locked his eyes with Louis’ before taking a seat directly opposite him.

 

There were two bad connotations to that. First of all, Louis couldn’t look anywhere without meeting Harry’s gaze first. Secondly, and almost worse of the two, he had to wait for everyone else to share before he could hear Harry’s reason for even being there. The anxiety of that, Louis thought, would probably be enough to end him.

 

Louis had to listen to a few stories of perfect first dates, one night stands, and nasty break-ups before it was Harry’s turn to talk.

 

Louis didn’t want to look right at him, but he couldn’t exactly help it. It was too late for him to hide, especially since there was no way Harry hadn’t heard his spiel.

 

“Alright Harry,” Liam grinned, “You can talk about anything you want. That’s how things work here. It’s a safe zone. You can start by just introducing yourself, or you can jump right to something that’s been bothering you or something great that happened recently. It’s all up to you.”

 

“Okay,” Harry smirked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He looked straight at Louis the entire time he spoke, and Louis couldn’t tear away from his lips. “I’m Harry. I’ve been living in London for a while now, but I used to live here. I’ve just recently graduated, so I thought I’d come visit for the summer before I make any decisions about University. Anyway, I’ve known I was gay for quite a long time. I came out to my best friend when I was fifteen. He didn’t take it too well, and it was- well, it was hard to lose him. I loved him so incredibly much. You know how they say you don’t know true love until you’re older? God, I’ve never loved someone that much. I don’t care that I was young, he’s still the best thing that ever happened to me.”

 

Louis tried to breathe steadily, but he honestly wanted to run out and throw up in the rubbish bin in the hall.

 

“It’s mature for you to still see him that way even though he hurt you,” Liam commended him.

 

Louis wasn’t sure he was ready to hear the rest of what Harry had to say. He owed it to him, though. It was the absolute least he could do.

 

“Well, that’s what true love is,” Harry nodded, sitting up straight in his seat, still staring at Louis intently. “It’s loving the good and the bad. He was broken at the time, and all I can hope for is that he’s made amends with himself. Like you were saying earlier, you’ve got to forgive yourself first. His happiness means a lot to me, so that’s all I can hope for.”

 

Liam nodded and watched Harry expectantly. When Harry didn’t add anything else, Liam glanced around the room again, “Well, if no one has anything else to say, we’ll call it a wrap for today. I’ll hopefully see you all at the same time next week.”

 

The moment Liam stopped talking, there was small chatter throughout the group. Before Louis could really think, he was out of his seat and rushing to the washroom. He shut the door behind himself and leaned against the sink, breathing sharply while gazing into the mirror.

 

There were so many things he thought of himself, but nothing was ever as profound and painful as the memories of Harry. They always stuck out to him as the absolute worst things he had ever done.

 

His thoughts were interrupted when the door swung open. Louis didn’t have to look over his shoulder to know that Harry was standing behind him. He didn’t know what to say, so he decided to let Harry have the first word.

 

Only Harry didn’t say anything. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist and buried his face in the crook of his neck.

 

Louis breathed out harshly, feeling like a turtle that had lost its shell for three years, walking around unprotected for so long. With Harry hugging him, he felt like he was comfortable. He felt safe. His shell was back.

 

“I missed you,” Harry sobbed quietly, tears dampening Louis’ skin. “So much, Louis.”

 

Louis leaned back into his embrace, holding Harry’s arms in place, “I’m so sorry, Harry. God-“

 

“Stop,” Harry pecked his cheek, watching the two of them entwined together in the mirror. “Look at us. Don’t ruin the moment.”

 

They stood like that in silence for a few long moments. Harry pulled away with a quick whisper, “I’m taking you out tonight. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

 

Louis swallowed and nodded slowly, “Alright, yeah. I’m still at my mum’s.”

 

“I know,” Harry smirked before walking to the door. “She’s the one who told me you’d be here.”

 

...

 

When Louis got home, he didn’t know what to do with himself. On one hand, he wanted to take his time getting ready: pick out the right outfit, shower thoroughly, and make his quiff look perfect.

 

On the other hand, he was a hot mess. For the first few minutes, he simply paced the front hallway, waiting for his mum to get home.

 

The second she walked through the door, he spoke in a flustered manner that could have been construed from irritation. Jay knew better, though.

 

“You talked to him? You told him about my support meetings?”

 

She simply chuckled and wrapped her arms around her troubled son, “He’s working at the bakery again. I saw him there when I took the girls shopping. He would have talked about you for hours if I’d let him.”

 

Louis ignored the fluttering in his chest and pulled away from her embrace, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

 

She shrugged and walked past him, making her way into the kitchen. He followed her innately as she responded, “He asked me not to. He said he would make you aware of his presence when he was ready.”

 

“Yeah, well what about me? I wasn’t prepared,” Louis whined to his mother as she loaded some dishes into the washer.

 

“Stop complaining and put the kettle on, will you?” Jay smirked as he obeyed her request, huffing the entire time.

 

“Are you going out with him?” She asked and he simply nodded.

 

“I’m so glad,” she smiled as if she had a secret.

 

“What all did he tell you?” Louis pestered, hoping to prepare himself mentally as much as possible before his date.

 

“Nothing too dramatic,” she laughed. “I don’t think he knew what to expect, so he kind of asked around the big question.”

 

“And what is the ‘big question’?” Louis used air quotes sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

 

“If you had come out or not,” Jay grinned. “He kept asking things like, ‘How’s Lou?’ ‘Has he been dating anyone?’ I told him you dated a few people off and on and then he asked, ‘People as in?’ so I just stared him and said, ‘Men.’”

 

“Mum,” Louis whined some more. “I don’t want him to think that it was him or something. Like what if he thinks it was just easy for me after he left?”

 

Jay shrugged and focused on her task, “I don’t think he does. Plus, from what I remember, Louis, you left first.”

 

Louis sat at the table and rested his face in his arms, “Don’t make me feel worse than I already have for three years.”

 

“That’s not my intention,” she assured him as the kettle began to whistle. Louis stood up and took it off the stove, retrieving two mugs. “I just want you to remember that when you two talk. Remember how he had to have felt.”

 

Louis poured the water and set tea bags into the cups, “I think about it every day, Mum.”

 

...

 

Louis was ready long before seven. His sisters were all home when he walked down the stairs in his tan trousers and light blue, short-sleeved button-up. His family was sitting down for dinner and he felt awkward lingering around, awaiting his date. He sat with his family, a glass of water in front of him while everyone ate.

 

“It’s just a date, Louis,” Lottie teased, laughing at the stricken look Louis couldn’t get rid of.

 

“It’s not,” he scoffed. “It’s Harry. He’s the one. The only one, and if he gives me a second chance, then I can’t screw it up ever again.”

 

“So melodramatic,” Fizzy rolled her eyes, rolling a grape tomato around her plate with her fork.

 

“You guys suck,” Louis complained, crossing his legs on the chair.

 

“Come on girls, don’t tease your brother. He’s nervous,” Jay scolded the girls kindly.

 

Dan cleared his throat to get their attention, “Louis, I’d just like to say that I’m proud of you. When I first met you, you were never this comfortable in your own skin, and from what I’ve heard about this Harry, that’s all he ever wanted. So, just be you. After how close you two were for so long, it’s going to be natural if you just relax.”

 

Louis didn’t know how to react to having such a logical father figure in his life, but it was something he was starting to get used to.

 

Louis nodded, a grin peeking out for the first time that night, “Thanks, Dan. I’m going to try.”

 

As soon as the awkward silence returned, the doorbell rang, and the twins were running to the door, yelling in excitement.

 

Louis rolled his eyes as Jay piped in, “You sure I shouldn’t answer and make him wait in the living room so you can make a grand entrance?”

 

“Who’s teasing now?” Lottie joked, taking a bite of chicken.

 

Louis just walked away without a word, giving himself a pep talk in an attempt to calm down. He checked his pockets to make sure he had his phone and wallet, and then joined the girls by the door. They knew better than to open it alone, but they always wanted to be present when a guest arrived.

 

“Open it, Lou,” Daisy encouraged him.

 

Phoebe giggled, “Is he cute?”

 

Louis chuckled and tickled his sisters at the same time, “Okay, and yes he is.”

 

Louis opened the door then, and realized that cute just wasn’t the word to use for Harry anymore.

 

The taller boy stood on his doorstep, wearing tight blue skinnies and a simple white t-shirt, one that was a bit see-through. He had on a ridiculous hat that Louis fully intended to make fun of the moment they had resolved all their issues.

 

Louis had to admit that Harry pulled the look off, though. He was beautiful. He was sexy, even.

 

“Hi,” Louis breathed, stepping out and closing the door behind him, immediately hearing the twins’ whines and complaints.

 

“So, you think I’m cute now?” Harry smirked, resting his hand on the doorframe, crowding Louis gently against the door.

 

Louis gulped and smiled, “Yeah, a little bit.”

 

“Just cute,” Harry hummed, pouting. “Maybe I can change your mind, then.”

 

Louis chuckled nervously and followed Harry to his car. He climbed into the passenger seat, Harry closing the door for him.

 

When they were on the road, Louis resisted the urge to reach for Harry’s hand. Dan was right it all seemed so natural.

 

...

 

Harry took Louis to a restaurant he had never heard of before, which was surprising since it was in town. It was a Greek place and it was quaint and quiet. It was an intimate sort of place, the lights dimmed and the music soft.

 

Louis pretended not to notice the way Harry peeked over the menu; grinning fondly every time Louis’ gaze flitted to meet his. Harry took his hat off in the restaurant, much to Louis’ relief. He had an overwhelming urge to make fun of it.

 

“Do you know what you want?” Harry asked. “You can get whatever, my treat.”

 

Louis smiled at that. Harry still seemed so young when he looked at him, but he still acted so much older than he was. The way he always had.

 

“You don’t have to do that,” Louis grinned.

 

“Yes, I do,” Harry retorted. “I invited you out, so I’m paying. You can invite me out next time.”

 

Louis blushed, “Next time?”

 

Harry bit at his bottom lip and glanced down at the table, “I mean, if you want to.”

 

He didn’t look back up and Louis hated that he mistook his meaning, “I want to.”

 

Harry smiled and looked back up, meeting Louis’ eyes instantly, “Good, just so you know, though, I’ll probably still try to pay.”

 

Louis laughed and tried to think of a way to transition their conversation. He didn’t know where to start, but he knew there was a lot to be said.

 

“Harry,” Louis muttered after the mood had plateaued again. “We should talk.”

 

Harry set his menu down, obviously not even looking at it anymore, “Yeah, we should.”

 

“Alright,” Louis gulped. “I’ll start, yeah? I’ve got a lot to say and I’ve thought about this moment for years. Just don’t interrupt me. You can talk at the end.”

 

Harry chuckled and then smiled sadly; remembering the moment that tore them apart, “Go ahead.”

 

Louis sighed and took a quick breath, “First of all, I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, Harry, and I’ve never forgiven myself. I never will. The look on your face that night will always be burned into my memory, seared into my brain to torture me for lifetimes. I never meant for that to happen. I think that in my subconscious, I knew I was in love with you and I just wanted to skirt through high school as friends and then move on with our lives after that. After I stopped caring what people thought. But, I wasn’t thinking about you. You’ve always been so sure of yourself, so self-knowing. I admire you so much for that, Harry. Always have. While I was getting upset over stupid names, you were bearing your soul to me, and I was so, so selfish. I didn’t think about you and in all reality, I didn’t think about me.”

 

Louis breathed and found it hard to look directly at Harry; “I tried to be okay after that night. I immersed myself in football, and pretended that I cared about it more than I cared about you. Niall glared at me a lot. Then, I realized it didn’t mean anything if you weren’t on the sidelines cheering me on. If you weren’t there to be proud of me, it didn’t matter. And then, finally, I realized it shouldn’t be about you. I realized that I needed to find myself like you already had. So, I went away for a week to see my Nan, and did a lot of soul-searching. That’s the week I said it out loud. I told myself I was into guys, and even more importantly that I was in love with one. I told my mum the day I got back, and from there, I told everyone. It was like this moment of self-realization, and I was so proud. Proud of myself for once. Not proud of the me that only you saw. It was incredible. I lost friends and it was a relief, because they were never my friends to begin with. I met this guy, Zayn, and we’ve been best mates ever since. He’s an art student at the Uni in town. I started going to the support group you were at today. Liam is a great counselor. After I could be myself, though, I realized even more so that no matter what, I’m my best self when I’m with you, and even after all these years, I knew that you were the missing piece. I love you, Harry. I’ve never stopped and I never will.”

 

There were a few moments of comfortable silence, during which Louis caught his breath again. Harry’s jaw was dropped, his mouth open as if he had something to say. Nothing came out, though. Instead of saying something, Harry stood up and walked around the small table, kneeling at Louis’ side and pulling him into a crushing embrace.

 

“You have to forgive yourself, baby. Just like Liam said. I’ve forgiven you and I’m just so glad to have you back, Louis,” Harry sobbed, burying his face in Louis neck. Louis kissed into his hair, feeling his nostrils burn as he began to cry as well, overwhelmed with emotion.

 

“I thought you were gone forever,” Louis admitted, pulling away so he could look at Harry. He wiped away his tears with his thumbs, smiling through his own.

 

“I’ll always come back for you,” Harry laughed at his own generic response, surprised by how cheesy it was.

 

“You might have to with lines like that,” Louis teased.

 

“Shut up and kiss me,” Harry chuckled, staring at Louis with expectant eyes.

 

“That was just as bad-“ Louis started, but before he could answer, Harry’s lips were on his own.

 

There they were, in a romantic restaurant, Harry on his knees where Louis sat, kissing him passionately before they had even ordered their meals.

 

Louis hoped that moment could replace the one from three years ago when he abandoned Harry. He hoped that their new defining moment could be this.

 

...

 

“This feels cheap,” Louis laughed as Harry trapped him against the wall of his hotel lift.

 

“Why?” Harry mumbled against Louis’ lips, refusing to break away.

 

The boys had gone to the hotel Harry had been staying at after dinner. They were at the restaurant for hours catching up, and Louis even got to make fun of Harry’s hat.

 

“Because,” Louis explained, pulling away when the doors opened on the correct level, “Hotel sex makes me think of prostitutes.”

 

Harry rolled his eyes and followed Louis, even though Louis didn’t know which room he was headed to.

 

“So, only prostitutes can have sex in hotel rooms?” Harry laughed.

 

“No, also married people, and couples on vacation,” Louis replied flatly.

 

“Hm,” Harry disagreed, mainly because he was very intent on having sex with Louis in that particular hotel. “Well, we can always go back to your mum’s house, but I thought we could save your family from the mental scarring for now.”

 

Harry cleared his throat when Louis walked past his room, causing him to stop in his tracks while Harry unlocked the door.

 

“For now?” Louis smirked. “I like the way you think, Styles.”

 

Harry opened the door and held it for Louis to walk through first. He let it shut behind him and immediately put his hands back on Louis’ waist, “And I like you.”

 

He kissed him, even though they kissed in the car for about forty-five minutes and both of their lips were beginning to feel numb.

 

Kissing was so natural for them. Louis couldn’t think of any other person that he’d been content just kissing for forty-five minutes. He never liked it enough.

 

He loved kissing Harry.

 

“How do you want to do this?” Harry asked blatantly, sucking a bruise onto Louis’ neck.

 

“What do you mean?” Louis whispered through a moan.

 

Harry laughed and sighed, breathing in Louis’ scent as his hands trailed down his body, “I’ll only do what you’re comfortable with. Do you want to top? I’m fine with that if it’s what you want.”

 

Louis gulped and then shook his head slowly, “No, I’d like for you to. This time, at least.”

 

Louis gasped at the sudden darkness in Harry’s eyes.

 

“Take your kit off and lay on the bed,” Harry groaned as he gripped Louis’ arse, and Louis snaked his arms around his neck.

 

Louis didn’t say anything in response, reaching down to undo his pants instead. He stripped out of his clothes quickly while Harry disappeared to the washroom. Louis waited for what felt like eternity, on his back and under the covers. He felt awkward on top of the sheets, exposed and hard. He knew Harry wasn’t going to let him stay under the sheets, but he stayed as long as he could. When Harry emerged, he was naked and carrying a small bottle of lube and a condom.

 

“Fuck,” Louis gasped, his eyes raking Harry’s ink filled skin, studying every inch that was new to him.

 

“Wanna see you, Lou,” Harry scolded, his voice deeper and more serious.

 

Louis nodded and pulled the covers down, revealing his body for Harry. He heard Harry’s breath catch when his cock was exposed, hard and leaking against his stomach.

 

“You’re stunning, Louis,” Harry said, kneeling on the mattress next to his lover. “Turn around, please.”

 

Louis rolled over, smirking to himself when Harry gripped a bum cheek in his large hand.

 

“Jesus Christ. I always wanted to know how that felt,” Harry chuckled, releasing the handful and then smacking the same spot gently.

 

Louis moaned and buried his face in the pillow, “Get on with it. You can stare at my bum later.”

 

Harry laughed and trailed his fingers up Louis’ spine, “Not a bad suggestion. I’ll definitely do that. On your hands and knees now, sweetheart.”

 

Louis obeyed without a second thought, pushing himself up by his elbows, “I think you should know-“

 

Harry kissed along Louis’ shoulder blades, humming distractedly, “You can tell me anything, Lou.”

 

Louis tried to gather his thoughts as Harry tenderly pressed his lips to his skin, “I’ve- I um... I’ve never done this before, so just be gentle.”

 

Harry released a sigh, his breathing echoing in Louis’ mind. It was so sensual, how close they were.

 

“I’d be gentle even if you told me you’d done this a thousand times,” Harry whispered. “I’ll always take care of you.”

 

Louis nodded, his shoulders visibly relaxing at Harry’s promise, “Thank you.”

 

Louis almost laughed at how reversed their roles were. They always had been. Harry as the younger man always took care of Louis, and Louis always let him. He almost got off on it.

 

Actually, he thought, he was about to.

 

“You don’t have to thank me,” Harry smiled as he nibbled on Louis’ earlobe, draping his body over Louis back, his cock barely rubbing against Louis’ thigh. “I do like to hear it, though.”

 

Louis scoffed, his sarcastic laugh turning into a moan as Harry bit down hard on Louis’ shoulder.

 

“Didn’t take you for a biter,” Louis gasped, chuckling soon after.

 

Harry hummed and sat up on his knees, “Is that a problem?”

 

Louis wiggled his bum as Harry’s palms covered it, “I fucking love it.”

 

Harry let out an animalistic groan, sinking his teeth into the thick meat of Louis’ arse. Louis yelped and fell to his elbows, burying his face in the pillow to mask his screams.

 

“Really fucking love it,” he mumbled into the pillow. Harry simply chuckled, spreading Louis’ arse apart and poking his tongue against Louis’ hole briefly.

 

Louis shivered and released a long sigh, “Do that again.”

 

Harry smirked and delved in, flattening his tongue against the rim.

 

Soon enough, Louis was biting harshly on the pillow and his hole was spit-slick. Harry was hard at work, moaning into it, with two fingers slid in next to his tongue. He nibbled on the sensitive rim before pulling his mouth away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

 

“Do you have to stop?” Louis lifted his head to ask sarcastically. He turned his head to get a glimpse at Harry, whose fingers were still deep inside of him. Louis’ eyes were glazed, his lips pink and abused.

 

“It’s about to get so much better,” Harry promised, retrieving the lube from the nightstand, pulling his fingers out of Louis to squeeze a reasonable amount on them. He rubbed his fingers together to warm the gel. He brought his fingers back to Louis’ hole, covering it in the warmed liquid.

 

“Are you comfortable like this, love?” Harry asked, leaning over to kiss Louis’ cheek while rubbing gently over his rim.

 

Louis pushed back against Harry’s hand in hopes to feel him better, “Actually, can I be on my back, babe?”

 

Harry grinned and pulled his slicked hand back, guiding Louis’ hip with his clean hand, “Of course. Get comfortable.”

 

Louis squirmed around and rolled onto his back, adjusting his hips and smiling up at Harry as if he were the sun, “I’m good now.”

 

Harry framed Louis’ shoulders with his palms pressed to the sheets. He leaned over the older man for a long while before pressing their lips together. He pulled himself back up and stared into Louis’ eyes longingly, “I’ve wanted this for as long as I can remember.”

 

Louis’s eyes glistened in the dim lighting and he bit at his lip as Harry moved back down his body.

 

“Me too, Harry,” Louis whispered, covering Harry’s hands with his own as they trailed down his body. “For a lot longer than I used to admit.”

 

There was only a moment of uninterrupted silence before Harry pressed his two fingers back in, the slickness making it so much easier and more pleasurable for Louis. Louis’ gasps and heavy breathing filled the otherwise quiet room.

 

Harry soon worked in another finger until all three were moving with relative ease.

 

“I think I’m ready,” Louis moaned, reaching up and pulling Harry down by his long, tousled hair to kiss him.

 

“You’re sure?” Harry asked between kisses.

 

“Yeah, want you,” Louis muttered unintelligibly.

 

Harry nodded, pulling his fingers out and wiping them on the sheets on the side of the mattress. Harry held himself over Louis’s pliant body. Harry’s eyes ran up and down Louis’ exposed skin and remembered all the times he had thought about this happening. If he was completely honest, though, he was glad it happened like this, despite the trouble and pain he went through. Because they waited until they were both mature enough to handle the seriousness of what was happening. Because they weren’t just fucking like Harry had done with other guys. No, they were going to make love for the first time after all those years.

 

“I love you,” Harry whispered, smiling genuinely.

 

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s torso, digging his nails into his back, “I love you, Harry.”

 

Harry reached between their stomachs with one hand, guiding his throbbing cock to Louis’ ready hole. He slowly pressed into him, paining himself by watching Louis cringe. Harry moved slowly, kissing Louis’ face gently as he pulled back and gradually entered his lover.

 

When he was fully sheathed inside Louis, he gasped for breath, finding it difficult to stave his stuttering hips. He shakily kissed Louis for about the hundredth time. He couldn’t wait until their kisses were innumerable. There were so many things he couldn’t wait for as he gently made love to Louis. There were so many unknown memories that he couldn’t wait to make, and that prospect alone had tears welling in his eyes.

 

When Harry came, it was without warning, a guttural moan erupting from his mouth. He didn’t waste a minute before he was kneeling between Louis’ thighs, taking his swollen member between his lips. Louis came down his throat less than a minute later, whimpers and gasps filling the air.

 

It was thirty minutes later in the bath, Louis’ back against Harry’s chest, when they truly realized what it all had really meant.

 

“I’m getting a flat soon,” Harry stated point-blank.

 

Louis knew what he meant by that, without Harry having to say it. He wouldn’t assume that out loud, though, “Yeah? That’s good.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry grinned. “I’m working at the bakery to save up, and Barbara is talking about making me her official apprentice.”

 

“That’s incredible,” Louis intertwined their fingers.

 

“So, I was thinking you could move in with me,” Harry finally added.

 

Louis twisted his head around and kissed Harry softly, “I’d love that. I’ll pay rent, too. I’ve got a job teaching Piano at the music shop and I coach kid’s footie in the summer.”

 

Harry squeezed Louis’ hand and smiled giddily, “I’m so excited.”

 

“I got lucky,” Louis giggled, still a bit beside himself from the most intense orgasm of his life. “I really did. There are so many different ways this could have all ended, and I’m so glad it ended with you. I’m so glad you came back for me.”

 

Harry kissed the back of his head, smiling, “We got lucky, Lou. Finally, we’re the lucky ones. After all the shit, we can live our lives.”

 

“Together,” Louis added absently, leaning his head back on Harry’s shoulder.

 

“Together,” Harry agreed.

 

They both thought that it was the easiest decision they’d ever had to make.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it. kudos and comments are always welcome and rewarded with my enthusiastic thanks (i'm not generally an enthusiastic person so consider yourself privileged) xx


End file.
